THE OLD MAN

                                                   

                                                                   THE OLD MAN




                                       His hair was gray which was clearly visible in the moon light. The pair of glasses he worn covered half of his wrinkled face . 
  The old man stood their staring at the sandy beach while the waves touched his legs time to time . The memories of past unfolded in his mind as he closed his eyes in pain. 
How wonderful life was ,when my wife was around he thought .

            The children we were gifted are blessed with fortune . But never in dreams I realized they will forget us ,neglect us  ,to live a lone some life.
    With a deep sigh he thought of his dear wife ;she couldn't bear the pain which caused by our children . She couldn't bear the pain of refusal,she was heart broken . Our bond with our kids just simply reduced to a phone call once in a while . 
Still I wonder what could be the fault in us , raising our children in this manner ? The question never been answered till this day .
  How many times she burst out her sadness after hearing their voices from far away land . 
   But we were happy together ,sometimes she treats me as I am a child ,sometimes as a great friend . I never felt lonely in her presence .
  With the time she left me in this world and gone  to a better place (hear after ). Now the loneliness kills me bit by bit . My children forget about the existence of this old man .
     My hope for a better future fades away in the growing darkness.
 Let the time speak 
 What the God has decreed for my destined future.

                  

A LETTER TO HER DIVORCED HUSBAND .

    A LETTER TO A SEPARATED HUSBAND........ 

      My dearest ....

                 Though we were polls apart destiny brought us together to indulge in a beautiful bond call Marriage .
      Our first few years were wonderful days of our life I guess.Once in my life I thought  that ,you never know how to get angry at others, but when the days passed to years,you showed me your true colors. That you are the storm not the soothing wind.
No one had the ability to stop you when you are angry .. the foul languages you utter made me shiver . Every time your words prick my heart , it shattered into pieces yet I kept on moving simply because I was in a relationship which was accepted my God ,, I worked hard ...so hard to gain your trust to win your heart .
      I learned little by little  about you .. your likes and dislikes. I tried my best to be your closest friend more than being a wife .
  I have to admit that you are frank in everything , it took me one whole year to learn about you . You are an open book where I keenly interested and read .
It taught me that you are a fragile soul. The self confidence  with in you is zero percent .Taking a challenge in your life is a great battle ,meeting new people is like walk through a road in the pitch darkness .

     I learn to hear your sorrows , your infamous school life and unfaithful friends .
I learned on that time how fragile you are.I vowed to my self to bring you out of your cave ... to heal your wounds with my care and affection.
 Though we have come from different corners I started gave up my own ways , my habits ,my likes , my tastes and even my leisure time activities ..... simply because you never appreciate my work and always thought as a worthless girl compare with others. You forgot to know that every women has their own flow .

THE WORST THING I EVER DID IN MY LIFE IS ,I GAVE UP BEING MYSELF . And learn to live to make you happy . Little I knew on that time you never felt relieved in me . You never get interested in me  .

 I was just blind folded in a deep affection towards you ..

    When Days passed you grew in your career , you confident grew with that as well . You became my priority I just stood behind every step you took yet you never notice ,,or accept that.
   Even in my supplication I asked for your health and well being more me . Sometimes I didn't leave any space to ask dua for my self. 
I lived a life for you,,simply longing to have your affection,I saw you as my best friend , as my other half  to keep my shoulder in need. Though you never knew who I am ,, Never tried to learn about me , what my flows ,my likes and dislikes, My strength and weaknesses . Simply you didn't give a chance to nourish and build up this marriage life of ours.
                     
                I can still remember how I hold you when you were drift apart from yourself. I made you speak out your fears so  we were able to confront together.

 Alas ,,, passing days taught me the demon side of yours,,you were never fallen in love with me .as I was with you.I am just being fooled around yet I kept everything aside to fulfill the duty as a mother and as a wife.

 My turn of suffering started after our second baby was born, my little faults ..little mistakes what I do tuned into a storm in our life. You waited every  time to shout at me rather than consoling me listening to my side of the story.
    Nothing could be mended between us ; the children , what we are blessed with become burden in the eyes of yours . Sometimes you shout at us ''Give me some peace '''I just want to know where do you get your peace other than your own house and being with your loving children and wife . 

           We ,me and the children waited impatiently till the week end comes to spend sometime with you .. together have a family lunch or go for a outing but you never turned out I thought you stuck with work yet never in dreams I imagine you were in a relationship other than me .
     You never become the good father... the role model every child look up to , yet I never bring those sensitive issues to surface because I don't want to see the angry side of yours as usual .
    You scolded me sometimes as dumb .. yes you are correct I use to forget things and happenings very easily, yet I never knew in this passed 10 years their is disease hidden in my body. Two weeks before I went to consult the doctor for a routine check up.. their was a shocking news awaited for me. I was effected with Amnesia .
   I don't want any sympathy from you and I am not the one who has to come in between you and your new found life .
   I JUST SIMPLY LET YOU KNOW THAT THE KIDS WHAT WE RAISED AS A FAMILY DOESN'T KNOW ABOUT OUR STRUGGLE...
 they doesn't know the consequences of a broken Marriage . They are just too small to grasp the heavy burden waiting for them to carry in their shoulders.

When time permits you just go and visit them as they were staying with my age old parents ..sometimes they might be bit naughty but time will teach them their own life lesson .
      I am just stuck in between four walls in a hospital .I write  this letter to you before I completely forget about the person once I desperately loved...
  PLEASE DO NOT TRY TO VISIT ME .. OUR BOND, OUR RELATIONSHIP WAS BROKEN THE DAY YOU BROKE MY HEART .

  IN YOUR OWN WORDS YOU TOLD ME ... I don't deserve you ...
                                   Where ever you are God bless you .
            
          Your first wife ..... 
   
                             

whispers of shaitan

 WHISPERS OF SHAITAN........



    He was perfect,perfect  in the eyes of people
Nothing is impossible in his life
He was well built in his physical apperance but deep down he was falling ....
 Falling into deep dark hole
    The darkness which cannot be rectified easily 
  He was falling 
    Yet this isn't the first time or the second but every time when he loose something precious..
When he failed to atchive 
He get stuck in his life ..
No matter how strong his religious up bringings were 
he fails to hold him tight in his faith...
the belief ....
The belief in oneness of Allah.

He get into doubts
doubts about his creator and about his creations ...

Starts with missing the prayers  or sometimes  he does pray but not with the right intention.
He questions about everything 
why me .. why God should test me 
Why I am the one who is to be blamed .
.

No one know the dark secret of his heart ,,, 
He doesn't let anyone to know about his suffering not even his closed once
He was suffering alone ...
The pain,, the regret he felt in his heart   suffocating him 
He felt miserable 
He felt ashamed of himself for crossing the boundaries as a believer ,

As a Muslim
In some of the times he think he has to recall his Shahada 
It is between him, his soul and his creator ...
He felt ashamed of himself to stand in prayer to seek his  forgiveness from Allah..

Yet Allah is their for guide him .....
To show the light for those who are fallen into darkness 
And trapped in  the whispers of shaitan 

MAY ALLAH GIVE STRENGTH ... AND GUIDE THOSE WHO STRUGGLE TO KEEP THEIR IMAN STRONG 

##############
NEVER EVER UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF ALLAH 
Remember in the Quran Allah says 

''''''I am indeed close (to them): I listen to the prayer of every supplicant when he calls on me( 2:186)''''''''.


**************
And the last third of the night 
IN A HADITH IT MENTIONS THAT


'''''''When it is the last 3rd of the night ,our lord ,the Blessed , the superior  descends every night to the heaven of the world and says,,

''Is there anyone who invokes Me (demands anything from Me),that I respond to his invocation; Is their anyone who ask Me for something that I may give (it to )him; Is there anyone who asks MY FORGIVENESS THAT I MAY FORGIVE HIM??'''
*************************************
 I dedicate this  lines to the people who strive hard to become a better muslim ...
*************************************

Think out of your boxes

              ....THINK OUT OF YOUR BOXES....

   Have you ever thought coming out of the cubic square 
The sky scrapers, tall concrete structures 
 the blasting sounds of vehicles , 
the air is full of dust and polluted
Do you think you will survive in a developed city continuously for years.... 

 People work
 From morning till noon 
 Or
morning till evening 
Or
 5 Days a week
Or even 6 days a week 


sometimes you forgot to eat 
sometimes the time spend at home will become  less and less but you are unaware ..

But 
Why this hurry
Why this endless race...

Suppressed emotions
Faked plastered smiles
stressful work...
sleepless nights 

Did you ever thought when did you laugh out your heart for the last time
Did you ever thought  out of your boxes .....

Are we the one who made the  robots or 
In that process are we turning to become robots ???...........


Did you ever stop in your track and thought about yourself
 about your aims 
about your health 
about your family


What is the role model you try to show up for your children ??
simply giving them play stations , tabs and phones.....
Or 
SIMPLY TO TEACH THEM HOW  TO LIVE TO EARN MONEY ....

Think for yourself 
What is the purpose of this material life 
Do I felt the real satisfaction only by doing my work...

Think out of your boxes 
Think beyond your surroundings ...
The change never comes to you 
Till we  get start to  change ourselves..

Think out of your boxes 
To see the colourful bright side of our lives...

THINK OUT OF YOUR BOXES 
COME OUT OF YOUR HIDING PLACES 
TO SUCCEED .......

My 6 Year Old Son (JUMMA) --3

   

       How do I explain about friday Jummah to my 6 year old Son 

    Mum!!!!! Do I have to go  masjid for jummah prayer??    My little son questioned for the third time with a confused expression...

  ( Their I go again to the explanation mode,lol.)

I said : yes dear.. you need to go  but I am not forcing you. 
But friday is a special day for us as Muslims.
 It's like an Eid day for us. 

All around the world Muslims gathered to Masjids on this day pray to Allah, On a certain time of the day.

We are like brothers and sisters . 
We believe in Allah and we follow our prophet muhammed (Saw).
We follow the same religion .
 ################################
    Hope he understood what I taught him..

 With a bright smile he went to the masjid without any complains Alhamdulillah .


................................................................

 I know still he is a small kid . Yet , the teachings what we give in their young age stays longer in their little minds . So we need to nourish them with good thoughts ,practises, reciting the quran , memorising the quran etc...
 We need to bring Islam in their day to day life to make them better Musli    

My 6 Year Old Son - 2

                  MY 6 YEAR OLD SON

MOM!!!  How is your life???
My little son asked today out of blue while he was riding his bicycle...

 ( For the first time I realised that my son is growing he isn't a small boy who hide himself behind mama or papa when he see a stranger )

I was like have to shout out its a roller coster but kept quiet
Why did you ask dear ?????
     I just want  to know  How did you born??where did you born??
  where everyone took you from the hospital ??
and lots and lots of question he asked.

 THE FACT I LEARNED FROM HIM IS THAT
A SIX YEAR OLD MEANS IS NOT A SMALL TODDLER ...

 TO HIDE THE THINGS BEHIND THE BUSH
WE NEED TO TALK TO THEM
 THE REALITY OF LIFE
THE SITUATIONS WHAT THEY WILL  FACE WHEN THEY GROW UP AND AROUND THEIR SURROUNDINGS
THEY HAVE STRATED TO EXPOLE
THEY HAVE BEGAN TO FIND REASONS FOR EVERYTHING
SO THEY HAVE ALWAYS A QUESTION TO ASK..

SO AS PARENTS WE SHOULD BE AWARE ABOUT THEIR THINKINGS
HOW THEY EXPRESS THEIR IDEAS AND VIEWS      WE SHOULDN'T IGNORE WHEN THEY COMES TO YOU WITH A QUESTION
IF WE ARE NOT PREPARED TO FACE THEM
IF WE ARE NOT WILLING TO RESPOND TO THEIR QUESTIONS....
SOME ONE WILL
THE SOCIETY WILL DO THE JOB
 THE PEOPLE IN THE SOCIETY WILL TAKE IT TO  THEIR HANDS
SOMETIMES IT MIGHT BE GOOD BUT MOST OF THE TIME IT TURNED TO BE WITH BAD INFLUENCE


IF OUR CHILDREN STUCK WITH THE WRONG PERSON
IF HE COMES TO SLOVE THE CHILDS PUZZLE
THINK WHAT WILL BE THE CIRCUMSTANCES
WILL THAT BE A  good beginning for a innocent child

Physcholgist say that A CHILD'S MIND IS LIKE A WHITE PAPER WITHOUT ANY MARKS
WE SHOULD (PARENTS) FILL UP THE PAPER BEFORE THE SOCIETY DOES THAT JOB TO YOUR CHILDS MIND

I THINK ITS THE MAJOR MILESTONE IN THEIR GROWTH
WE HAVE TO GROW  WITH THEM
WE SHOULD EDUCATE OUR SELVES
TO GUIDE OUR CHILDREN
TO SHOW THE RIGHTIOUS PATH
TO TEACH THEM TO BE IN THEIR OWN
NOT TO BE DEPEND IN ANOTHER PERSON
TO MAKE THEIR OWN DECISIONS
TO BE INDEPENDENT
TO  BE STRONG WHEN THE TIDES OF LIFE BECOMES HARD TO FACE.....

DAWN

                     Dawn  

The calmness of the dawn makes me to relax
The prayer I make in the fajr gives me peace ...
After the deep slumber
waking up early before even the sun rise
simply to submit  ourselves in front of our God ..
what a wonderful way to start a day.

Believing in Allah makes our souls being the most satisfied human being among the people...
The greatest  gift Allah has given ,,
The Righteous path he has chosen for us
How grateful we have to be towards our creator..

How many  people in this world has chosen the wrong path
How many people have gone astray by worshipping idols
How many of them changed them selves to become Atheist
how many people striving hard in seeking the truth

WE HAVE TO BE THE MOST GRATEFUL PEOPLE
FOR WHAT WE HAVE GIVEN
BECAUSE OUR CHOICE HAS BEEN DECIDED BY ALLAH
TO BE BORN AS A MUSLIM IS A GIFT FROM ALLAH
LET NOT OUR MINDS  AND HEARTS GO ASTRAY
NEGLIGENT IN OUR PRAYER
IS THE DOWN FALL OF OUR LIFE......

MAY ALLAH MAKES US AMONG THE PIOUS PEOPLE
WHO PLEAD FOR HIS MERCY WHILE THE WORLD IS COVERED IN DARKNESS
WHO RAISE THEIR HANDS IN SUPPLICATION, WHILE THEIR EYES SHED TEARS
MAKE US AMONG THE PEOPLE ,,WHO STAND UP FOR PRAYER (SALAH) EVERY ,TIME WHEN THEY HEAR THE CALL FOR PRAYER (AZAAN)

LET OUR DEEDS
LET OUR ACTIONS PLEASE ALLAH.

My 6 year old son --1

      The other day my 6 year old son came to me with a sad face , I saw something bothered him a lot . Yet I didn't jump up to a conclusion ,I just want to spill what he felt.

     He started sobbing and weeping ,,tears started flowing  . Ran to me and hugged me tightly .
Then I asked what happened ? He was stared at me for sometimes , may be analyzing what my reaction will be ,,but mum is always mum😁 I kept a neutral face ... I cannot show my emotions though I desperately want to know what's bothering him.
 He said ""I don't want to go to Quran madrasa(  a place to learn quran ) . I was bit shocked coz that was his favourite place but all of a sudden why this hatred . Soo I said okay you can stay today but promise me you will continue on monday insha allah .

   I just left him to be carefree the whole day when the bed time arrived I started a conversation with him . From A ) Any problem with the vehicle what you travel , is uncle kind towards you (driver), what about the children who goes with you did they trouble you . His response is no . Soo slowly I started what happened in the school so question B)How s your teacher ?? Did she shout at you ? Did she gave any punishment?? But he said no she is very goood . Then comes the friends in the class when put the question C) did your friends hurt you he started crying again so I got the point . I have to handle it carefully as he was bullied in his classroom . An issue which should be concerned as it's regarding my son's self confidence. I have to bring him out of dark hole.. A wound which shouldn't be kept unattended.
      Little by little I  explained in his own tone that theirs nothing to be scared of other children They are your age ..when you become big you will have to face a lot of people so be strong . If someone tries to hurt you simply avoid them, if they keep on troubling just complain to your teacher . Simply just because of a small fight why you want to give up your learning . Just concentrate in your studies that will make you shine among your friends . Be strong and I recalled old stories of my past .. he enjoyed listening to everything as he is a good listener and he slowly drift to a deep sleep.
 And Alhamdulilllah  the words I spoke made the magic in him . From that day on wards he never complain and he started enjoying the days learning the quran Alhamdulillah .

 THE IMPORTANT FACT IS WHEN YOU HANDLE A CHILD YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT THEY ARE NOT GROWN UPS ,, STILL THEY ARE VULNERABLE ..STILL THEY ARE NEW TO THEIR SURROUNDINGS.

SO WE NEED PATIENTS TO TACKLE AND APPROACH THEM IN A GENTLE MANNER TO SOLVE THEIR PROBLEMS. IN OUR VIEW IT'S JUST A SIMPLE  MATTER,THAT CAN BE HANDLED BUT FOR THEM THEY FEEL THEIR LIFE REVOLVING AROUND THEIR PROBLEMS.

    1 ST BE A GOOD LISTENER  FOR YOUR CHILD
TAKE THEIR MATTERS BIT SERIOUSLY ...
YOU WILL FIND YOUR CHILD WILL GROWN UP TO FINE PERSON WITH BEST PERSONALITIES INSHA ALLAH.

Marriage is beautiful....

            MARRIAGE IS BEAUTIFUL

      Marriage is beautiful......
      Make it successful........

•      In marriage ,the couples should have a strong communication . It is the roots of a long lasting marriage.   

           #  It should be built up in mutual            understanding 
#forgive the mistakes & forget ...

• The husbands, who considered them as high """I  appreciate their eagerness to become the leader of the family, yet make sure not to break your dear wife's heart in this process"""".         

    Once you raise your hand & your voice her life comes to a hold. Remember not all the women are made out of steal to fight back for her rights. They are vulnerable ..

## Be with them 

##be a part of them.

## Every creation of God is unique . Learn to read their minds. 

##See what their likes and dislikes.

## Look out for what their talent is, encourage them.

• Learn the art of listening . Listen to their ideas ,views ,opinions , Appreciate them. Do not suppress their attitudes simply because you do not like it.                                                                                                                                                        !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You can't try to change another persons life to satisfy your life.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

• Remember each of you have come from different background in the society,with a different family structure and customs. So you can't come to decision in a single action of your spouse.                                                                         .!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!You need time to workout in marriage.     !!!!!!!!!!!!!!                                                                                                                           
• Always seek refuge in Allah ,when ever shaitan course problems around the corner between the spouses.                                                                                                                                                                
• If you are in a desperate situation in your marriage life.. remember this too will pass away.Never give up your hopes easily,let the struggles make you strong.                                                                                                                                
• This advice is for the dear wife's who most willing to spend their husbands money,think twice ... Do not be a burden for your husbands .  Spending their money unnecessarily                                                   """"we know that it's your husbands responsibility to spend over you but never ever compare him to your Dad or siblings.-  """""""""""                                                                                                                                      ------your man some times has his own responsibilities towards his parents and towards his siblings.   He has some commitments too.Do not stress them in these matter.--------------                                                                           

'''''''''IT IS A MAJOR PROBLEM WHICH LEADS TO BROKEN MARRIAGES'''''''''''''''

     #######DEAR SISTER AND BROTHER IN ISLAM , REMEMBER LIFE IS FULL OF TESTS ,,EACH INDIVIDUAL HAVE THEIR OWN WORRIES.......UNFULFILLED DREAMS. IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT THE PROBLEM IS 

    .---ALWAYS PUT YOUR TRUST IN ALLAH 

------He will never let you down----------

           

Hope for life

    When the tides of waves (problems in life)
reached my footsteps 
       I gasped for air..
My breathe got stuck in my lungs
     I forgot to breathe
as I forgot how to swim through life..

Time and patients are the best teachers  
   I ever approached for
they taught me 
    What my battle is for..
The survival to live is the hardest battle my life taught me ..

I am not a warrior in the field of life and hardship..
but,,,,the Fate turned me to a hard rock...
No more you wouldn't  be able to see the innocent women 
with in me ..
It was buried deep down in my heart
never to appear in surface..

my life taught me, mould me , carved me to be the person you see
     TO BEAR THE LONELINESS 
EVERY TIME MY LOVED ONCE LEAVE ME..
   TO BEAR THE PAIN WHEN I AM NOT THE CHOSEN ONE TO BE MARRIED..
 WHEN EVERY SINGLE MARRIAGE PROPOSAL GET REJECTED 
 BECAUSE SIMPLY I AM NOT THE MODERN GIRL WHAT THEY LOOK FOR...

TO BEAR THE HARSH WORDS OF THE SOCIETY 
   WHEN I AM UNABLE TO PRODUCE A CHILD FOR THEM
 OR 
I AM NOT CAPABLE ENOUGH TO GIVE BIRTH TO A BABY BOY..

   I learned the lesson to survive in the society
        As a girl
               As a WIFE
                      As a MUM 
    The battle may intense
yet I never put my armour down 
    Its the struggle for my survival
             THE SURVIVAL TO LEAD A GOOD LIFE 

         

MY DEAR CHILD.......

                My Dear Child........
                        
                             You gave me pride when I carried you in my womb. 
           My dreams for you were beyond boundaries....
The expectations I draw for you in my heart 
wordless to express. You came to this world by giving me another name " MUM".
          I never felt the bond between a child and it's MUM before you were given to my hand.
     I cuddled you ... I enjoyed all the little things you did .....
 I want to protect you 
 I  want leave some lines for you to follow 

     """"I want you to spend time with your parents and specially with your grand parents,Cos what they speak to you is their life lesson.. please do not ignore them.."""
     .""'I want you to be a nature loving kid...
So you will find the beauty in each and every creation of God...
    """Spend time with your Family
        Make your siblings your best friends,
  Time will teach you how hard you try to hold them .... but they will be faraway from you,,Only the pictures will remain with you to recall the sweet memories....
   """Always believe in your self 
      It's the door step for your success..

      """"IN THE ROAD OF YOUR LIFE 
STOP YOURSELF 
LOOK BACK HOW FAR YOU HAVE COME...
HOW FAR YOU HAVE REACHED FOR YOUR GOAL...
 LET THE FOOT PRINTS STAY BIT LONGER
    SO OTHERS CAN FOLLOW YOUR FOOTSTEPS....

...................ALWAYS SPEAK TO ALLAH ...
LOOK TOWARDS THE SKY....RAISE YOUR HANDS HIGH
HE IS THEIR LOOKING AT YOU 
THE CREATOR
THE MASTER OF THIS UNIVERSE 
------HE WILL NEVER LET YOU DOWN-------